


She-Ra Meets Star Wars

by le_paquet_fou



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Afterlife, Chaos, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships, dumbassery, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 05:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/le_paquet_fou/pseuds/le_paquet_fou
Summary: Two space shows with dumbasses and clones. We don't care about the rules, we just want them to meet and let the stupidity ensue. You say no? We say yes.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack fic my girlfriend and I are working on. We wanted to combine our two favourite space shows, this happened. The afterlife AU part comes in from my series [A Story of Brothers](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762891), which isn't written yet, but will be based off of [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968696/chapters/57649696). Confusing, I know, but this is how it is. Hope you enjoy!

“Anakin, is this really what you call flying?” Obi-Wan asks.

“It’s not my fault, it’s the ship!”

“You always blame the ship,” Ahsoka says.

“Well, I’d like to see  _ you _ fly through an asteroid field while being chased by vulture droids.” Rex sighs and leans against Cody, dragging him to the floor with him. Of course this didn’t go as planned. Nothing ever did when Senator Amidala was involved and Skywalker was in charge.

“Ani, I think now is a good time to get us out of here.”

“Please, Anakin, now!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Rex and Cody watch with blank stares as the stars start to melt into each other and the ship jumps into hyperspace. Skywalker pushes himself up silently from the pilot’s seat, stalking towards Obi-Wan. Rex takes Cody’s hand and leads him to the back of the ship. R2 follows them and shuts the door as a shouting match starts about ‘letting him do his own thing.’

“Is this where you hide away during hyperspace jumps?” Cody asks, the smirk evident in his voice. Rex offers a half-shrug as he sits back against the cool metal wall. Cody joins him on the ground, taking his hand and gently rubbing his thumb over the scarred hand plate. “You been punching any droids recently? Your armour’s starting to look as beaten as mine.”

“Not enough to take away your title of droid sparring king.”

“Is that what the 501st calls me now?”

“Sometimes.” Rex smiles under his helmet as Cody wraps his arm around him and pulls him into an awkward sort of side hug. The adrenaline from the fight is finally starting to leave his body, and safe in Cody’s arms, he begins to drift off. Until a lot of screaming is heard, that is.

“ANAKIN!”

“This is  _ definitely _ not me. I don’t control hyperspace.”

“Could you try to control it a bit?”

“Hey now Snips, I’m doing my best.”

“Do better!” Rex groans; he knows what’s coming next. He grabs onto a pipe with one hand and holds onto Cody with the other as the ship starts to spin out of control. R2 starts to screech, but that’s drowned out by Cody’s panicked screams as they’re thrown around the ship. Rex keeps a tight hold on both his brother and the ship, his screams kept silent by years of experience.

“Aha, got it!” Rex and Cody slam back into the floor in a grumbling pile. Rex rolls over and gets to his feet before helping Cody up and keeping him steady for a few seconds as his legs shake.

“How?”

“This is pretty normal.”

“Stars, your Jedi is insane.”

“No, really?” He gets a light smack on his arm before they go back into the cockpit to see exactly what in all nine hells is going on. It doesn’t shock them to see actual stars instead of the blue field of hyperspace. What does is the giant tree floating in the middle of space with no apparent system keeping it alive.

“Uh, sir? Where are we? And what is that?”

“I’m not sure, Cody. None of us are. However, if we land safely on the planet, I’m sure we can find ou- Anakin look out!”

“Hold on, Codes.” One wing of the ship gets taken out, and again the ship spirals, this time towards a planet blanketed in a pink hue. Shrieks echo around the cockpit as they plunge ever closer to the planet. Rex soon loses his grip on the console he hastily grabbed and is sent against the wall, Cody following suit and pinning him there. They scramble to hold onto each other and close their eyes as flames start to lick at the front of the ship.

The landing is not the smoothest of Skywalker’s many crashes. They’re thrown around the cabin before landing in a heap after striking something definitely made of rock or metal. Rex doesn’t dare open his eyes until he hears Cody swear quietly through their private comms, a reassurance that they didn’t die.

“Ugh…”

“Remind me to never get on a ship that Skywalker is piloting ever again.”

“Noted.”

“Speaking of Skywalker, where the fuck--”

“Owwwwwww…”

“There, I’d guess.” Rex pushes himself up off the tilted floor, brushing off the dirt and small bits of scrap. He helps Cody to his feet, scrunching his face in the way only little brothers do when Cody flicks off a bit of scrap from his pauldron.

“There.”

“You don’t need to fuss over me.”

“If I didn’t you’d be dead by now.”

“You’re a hypocrite if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Hey, great sibling bonding and all, but we have a problem,” Ahsoka says. She points out the shattered window that Obi-Wan and Padmè are gathered around, and they cautiously approach. Obi-Wan has his face in his hands, his disappointment palpable, as Padmè watches on in disbelief. Rex and Cody clamour to the edge, careful not to cut their hands on broken glass, and stare at the motionless form of Anakin lying face first in the grass.

“I see.” Shifting their gazes upwards, they see another form, standing above the groaning mess of Skywalker on the ground. She is staring at him, seemingly just as bewildered as the crew.

“Nope. Just. Nope.” In a shower of glitter, she disappears.

“Did anyone else see that or is my helmet broken for good?” Cody asks. Rex and Ahsoka slowly nod, with Obi-Wan none the wiser with his head still buried in his hands. Without hesitation, Rex leaps through the shattered window towards his fallen general. Ahsoka follows, with Cody trailing them. Padmè takes the more reasonable approach and walks out the door of the ship with R2 beeping with excitement.

Just as Rex is about to check that Skywalker still has a pulse, there’s a giant poof of glitter as five forms appear out of nowhere. A shriek is heard from the ship, followed by a loud thump. Cody turns around slowly, giving a deadpan glare behind his visor towards the broken hull.

“General, please don’t tell me you have a concussion. Helix won’t let me hear the end of it, and I don’t want to be the one responsible for dragging your ass to the medbay.” Obi-Wan pops up, indignant.

“That didn’t happen. No one say a word.”

“Yes, sir,” Cody deadpans, rolling his eyes and turning his attention back toward the source of the sound. He can’t help snorting in laughter as he sees Rex trying to swat pink glitter off his armour.

“Really? I think pink looks kinda nice on you. A change of pace from all the blue and white.”

“ _ Chakaar. _ ” Padmè approaches the source of the glitter bomb, making sure to present herself calmly. One of the new people, a giant blonde lady wielding a sword, steps back and shrinks down to a more reasonable size. Padmè, blinking, decides to table that for another time. The glitter bomb steps forwards hesitantly, eying all of the people present.


	2. Chapter 2

“I am Senator Amidala of Naboo. I’m terribly sorry for this crash landing, we were escaping a Separatist encounter when the hyperdrive malfunctioned and we were pulled out of hyperspace. All we ask for is some shelter as we repair the ship and refuel, and we will be on our way.” Glimmer stares at the newcomer, processing.

“O...kay, well, clearly we have things to discuss, since I understood about half of those words, but repairs and fuel should be doable. Entrapta, can you--”  
“A SHIP??” She rushes over to the wreckage, her eyes gleaming as she inspects every part of it she can. “That ship is amazing. What does it run on?”

“The blessings of the astromech and the sheer will of that Jedi,” one of the strange men, covered in white and blue armour, replies.

“Astromech? What’s that? Can I meet him?”

“Hey R2, looks like you got a new friend.” The little droid beeps happily and zooms up to Entrapta, following her back to the ship. Seeing that the ship repairs have been acknowledged, Glimmer turns back to Amidala. 

“Okay, so now that that’s taken care of, can you explain your situation again? Who are you guys? I don’t recognize your ship, and I’ve never seen anyone like that before,” Gimmer says, gesturing to orange-skinned member of the party, whose sky-blue eyes were scanning her new surroundings with interest. The Senator smiles, turning to the aforementioned girl and getting her attention.

“This is Ahsoka Tano. She’s a togruta, and she’s like family to all of us. Those two are Rex and Cody, commanders in the Grand Army of the Republic,” she explains, pointing to the two armored soldiers pressed against one another in confused fear. “This pile of pain is my husband, the dumbass who got himself thrown through a windshield, and this is General Kenobi.”

“It’s nice to meet all of you. I think. If you don’t mind, let’s move this conversation to my home. It’ll be more comfortable. Hold on.” Glimmer offers her hand. The two soldiers, watching her reach out, immediately take a few steps back, knowing yet another onslaught of glitter may follow. Padmè, diplomatic as ever, takes the offered hand and sends a glance in Rex’s direction. Glimmer turns to the rest of the BFS and holds her other hand out. An argument starts up in the background, and she turns to see what’s going on.

“No way in all nine hells am I going to let her  _ poof _ me to some random place I’ve never seen before.”

“ _ Ner ori’vod, vod’ika _ , I love you, but fuck that. If I’m going down, you bet your ass I’m dragging you down with me.” There’s a small crack of armour as Rex squeezes Cody’s hand even harder before he gently takes Padmè’s hand. Cody, still visibly pissed, links hands with Obi-Wan. Ahsoka clings onto Rex’s arm, apprehensive but excited for the journey. Glimmer takes a mental roll call, and nods.

“Okay! Everyone ready? Three, two-” Ahsoka widens her eyes, realizing Anakin is still on the ground. She twists, still gripping Rex’s arm, and practically does the splits, managing to boop Anakin with her toe just as-

“-one!”

_ POOF! _


	3. Chapter 3

As they materialize in one of the meeting rooms of the castle, everyone starts to unlink. Catra starts to pull away, but Adora pulls her back, eyes shining with excitement. She keeps her gaze on Rex and Cody, who are now hugging each other as tightly as possible, and lets out a small squeal.

“CATRAcatra Catra do you see them they’re so cute we gotta encourage them we just gotta come on come on come on come-mph!” Adora blinks and Catra takes her hand off her mouth.

“Yeah, okay, first step? Breathe. Why are we encouraging them? They seem fine to me.”

“BECAUSE. They’re gay! CATRA WE’RE GAY!” Catra deadpans.

“I’m aware.” She lifts their still-conjoined hands pointedly. Adora pays no mind to her, still hyper-focused on the hugging soldiers. Catra sighs. She may as well get a show out of this before it inevitably goes wrong. “Fine. We’ll make ‘em feel right at home.” Despite her annoyance, Adora’s bright answering grin made her heart flutter and she responded with a small smile of her own. Damn Adora for being so cute. Planting a kiss on her girlfriend’s furry cheek, Adora makes a beeline for Rex and Cody. Catra rolls her eyes and follows, swishing her tail.

“Hi! It’s nice to meet you! Both of you, obviously, I wouldn’t play favorites! I mean, I just met you, who would do that? Catra would you do that? Of course not, who would do that?” Adora rambles.

**“I would. I’m doing it right now.”**

**“Same here.”** Adora bulldozes forward, unfazed by the lack of audible response. Big buff lesbian only think in gay. 

“Anyway I just wanted to say hi cause you guys look SUPER cute together!” Adora finishes her rant, grinning brightly.

“Uh… that’s great, kid. We’ve, uh, never really gotten that before. Been given a doll by a girl I saved once, but never been called cute.” Adora gapes in genuine shock.

“What? But you guys are adorable together! Seriously, how could no one notice? I mean, really!” She scoffs. Catra’s oh-no-Adora’s-gonna-be-a-dumbass sense tingles. “How long have you two been married?” The response she gets is far from what she expected. The soldiers immediately push away from each other, nearly throwing themselves on the ground in the process.

“Woah woah woah, where the hell did you get  _ that _ from?”

“Oh, sorry, have you not popped the question yet? Didn’t mean to make that awkward haha. Catra and I have been married for a bit. She tried to kill me! We’re good though. Don’t worry about being embarrassed we’re so totally cool here, I swear!”

“Ugh, nat-borns. Everything has to be romantic with you, doesn’t it?” Catra, already understanding what happened, does nothing to help her idiot wife. Smirking, she takes Adora’s hand again. 

“Sweetie, why don’t we show them to their temporary rooms? Entrapta won’t be done with the ship for a while.”

“Oh yeah! Sorry, some of the guest rooms got blown up a while back. Remember when I said she tried to kill me? Yeah that. Anyway, the guest room we had open for you only has one bed. I’m sure that’ll be fine for you guys though!”

“We’ve shared bunks before, it’s nothing new. Just get me to a bed so I can pass out for three days.”

“Fuck it, you’re catering to us, right? Any alcohol? I need to drink this fever dream away.”

“Cody no.”

“Yes.” Adora’s gaze flickers between the two of them, unsure. Catra, however, looks at Cody with newfound respect.

“Yeah of course. You think I could survive this place without booze? Come with me.” Catra takes a right into the hall, not looking back to see if they’d followed or not. Adora skips behind her, still elated from finding new friends to help out. 

Catra opens the door to their room with a half-hearted flourish. Rex and Cody walk in, Adora still bouncing along. Catra points to a cabinet, which Cody immediately makes a beeline for, taking his helmet off to be able to drink. Rex goes still and stares at the bed for a good two seconds before sprinting and launching himself onto it. Cody sets his helmet down on the counter, absentmindedly dodging as Rex’s helmet predictably comes flying and knocks his helmet over.

“Good job,” Cody says as he strolls over to the bed and takes a seat next to Rex’s splayed out form. Rex responds with a muffled grumble. Catra, sensing incoming shenanigans, casts her gaze towards her wife with a smirk. Said wife is watching the two commanders with a blank stare, clearly processing. The spinning loading circle in her brain seems to finally come to a stop as she stumbles backwards in shock.

“OH. YOU-- AND YOU-- I GET IT NOW,” she exclaims. Catra’s grin widens. “YOU’RE TWINS!”

“Oh, you almost had it, babe. So close. Try again.” Catra gives her wife another minute or so of loading symbol before deciding enough was enough. “Okay, you guys wanna help her out here?”

“Fucking hells lady, are you dumb? We’re  _ clones _ . You know, the  _ clone _ army of the Republic? The fearless men in white? Is this, I, no. I’ve put up with astronomical amounts of shit before but  _ this _ … I won’t. Goodnight.”

Adora blinks, mouth opening and closing in embarrassed shock. Catra would help, but she’s too busy laughing herself to tears in the corner. Cody simply takes another sip, patting Rex on the head to comfort him. He stops mid-pat, though, grimacing and looking warily into the bottle.

“You call this weak shit alcohol?”

“What?” Adora asks, still reeling from her world-shattering realization. Catra chuckles at her wife’s misfortune, but looks to Cody in similar confusion.

“I mean, this is a nice wine, but I was thinking something more along the lines of whiskey.” He looks up at Catra hopefully, but at the look on her face, he falters. “You do have whiskey here, right?”

“I’m sorry, but what’s whiskey?” Cody’s face falls just a little and a small whimper escapes his mouth. Rex looks up and gently pats his leg.

“Shame, Codes. Guess you won’t be getting drunk off your ass after all and just have to suffer like the rest of us.”

“ _ Chakaar. Meh ni copaanir gal, ni ganar gal. _ ” Rex gives him a look. In retaliation, Cody stares him down and brings the bottle back to his lips, draining it in one gulp.

Catra, waving her hand frantically, tries to get the soldiers' attention. 

“Hi, yeah, what??” Adora, ever the mediator despite her own confusion, puts a hand on Catra’s shoulder and rephrases her wife’s question.

“What language was that? We’ve never heard it here on Etheria.”

“This dumb fuck wants a drink.” Adora blinks.

“Okay. We can… try to find something stronger?” Catra shakes her head.

“Nah, that’s the best we’ve got. Trust me. I’ve checked. Nothing on this planet comes close to enough, but usually that gets the job done.”

“You poor soul. I have to take you to 79’s at some point, the drinks there are amazing. I once drank half the menu there in one night.”

“And then he got so hungover that he barely remembers what happened. But I do. And I’ll tell if you don’t. Stop. Drinking.”

Catra, with stars in her eyes, ignores Rex and nods frantically. Adora looks defeatedly at her dumbass wife.

“Have we not learned from karaoke night?” Catra immediately hisses, red at the tips of her ears. “That’s what I thought. Look, let’s table the bar conversation for another time, preferably never. How about, instead, we go to….uh….” Adora scans the room, her gaze falling on a small teacup. Her eyes light up. “A fair! We can go have some fun and get to know eachother better.”

Rex and Cody sigh, falling against each other and resigning themselves to their fate. They then sit up, Rex rubbing sleep from his eyes and Cody placing the now empty bottle on the ground.

“I’m guessing we don’t have a choice, so let’s go. Not the first time we’ve been dragged somewhere stupid against our will.”

“Mood,” says Catra absentmindedly, “but we’ll have to do something about your… choice in fashion. We can’t have you walking around in armour. Etheria doesn’t have a great track record with people in matching white armour who call themselves clones.”

“One, we call each other brothers because we’re the only family we have. Two, we purposefully mark our armour so that we  _ don’t _ look identical. Three, I still agree with you because I want to make Rex suffer.”

“And you say five months is a big difference?”

“Hush, little brothers get no say in this.”

“Aaaallllriiiiiight, enough fighting. Let’s get you two changed, yes?” Adora says, pushing them towards the walk-in closet. They grumble in annoyance but still comply, letting the door shut behind them. Adora sighs and collapses on the floor, curling in on herself and loudly cringes at herself. Catra kneels down next to her wife and pats her hair poof.

“It’s okay, babe. I’m sure it’s happened to them before.” Adora groans and pulls Catra down, pinning her in a bone-crushing hug. She screeches and struggles, wiggling her way out of the vice grip.

“Baaaabe… come baaaaaaack…”

“No! I don’t wanna choke!”

“Eesh, don’t force your kink on others,” Cody says with a smirk.

“Consent is sexy guys, don’t need any fancy tricks,” Rex adds. Adora’s face goes red with embarrassment and she pulls her coat over her face before falling backwards and rolling around on the ground.

“Ha fucking ha, brilliant joke. You’re  _ so _ clever,” Catra says, doing her best to ignore the clones’ odd looks that she knows are aimed at her ears.

“I know, right? Fifteen years of joking around with brothers really trains ya.”

“You’re only fifteen?” Adora asks, shooting up from the ground and scaring Catra.

“Uh, well, okay so this is a bit weird to explain.” All joking is set aside, and a serious tone settles over the group. “So this our afterlife, right? We fought for three years, lived another twenty years or so. Thirty when we died, but here we’re back to our prime.” Catra gets thrown back to her time with Horde Prime, the colours blurry but the deep, echoing voice sending chills down her spine. Everything starts to disappear, and she feels like she’s floating through space, cold, alone, and so very very afraid.

Adora’s hand taking hers brings her back into the colourful room, and having it pressed to her neck helps remind her that the chip is gone. She fine. She’s safe.

“So--”

“You’re saying ‘so’ a lot, Codes.”

“Shut. So, that means we’re thirteen now. Yes we started fighting when we were ten, I could tell.” Adora puts down her hand. “We’ve been here two years now. New armour, new paint designs, same people fighting the same damn war. Not to mention our brothers are the people we grew up with from day one, so yeah, fifteen years of honing our jokes and digs at each other. I’ve gotten so good that I can make Rex here crumble just by saying one thing.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Dare. Do it,” Catra says, stars in her eyes. She can tell she rekindled an old yet recurring fire by the shit-eating grin Cody gets while Rex looks ready to slaughter someone, more specifically, his brother.

“If we fuck each other, it’s just masturbation.”

“NO!” Rex falls to the floor, banging his head against the smooth tile softly.

“See?” Catra’s fallen on the floor too, cackling hysterically while Adora looks with innocent curiosity.

“I thought you said you didn’t, uh, do that… stuff.”

“Yeah, we don’t. Doesn’t mean we don’t like hypotheticals.”

“And one that he’s wrong about,” Rex says, pulling himself up from the floor. “It’s incest. It’s gross. Never say that again.”

“It’s masturbation though.” Catra’s cackling starts up again as Rex dies inside.

“Hey, uh, no more. Let’s just go, alright? You guys look fine, let’s just,” she stoops down and picks up Catra bridal style, carrying her out of the room with the brothers tailing after her. It’s gonna be a long day.


End file.
